Wednesday, October 3, 2007

They call it child-led

I am not a poet. Haven't written a poem since school in fact, and that was under duress. But this morning I had a poem in my head that conjured up perfectly how it feels right now to have two small children. So what the heck. Here it is, have a laugh at my expense...

Welcome to my motherland, (I like to think I still have another land), where,
last seen somewhere on the sofa, amidst toys and breast pads,
still tangled in the sling from which she was unloaded,
a baby lies sleeping.
So peaceful.
Yet never for long.
‘I was just stroking her, Mummy. She needs me you see’, I hear, against a back drop of cries.

My home is strewn with half-written lists, blowing about in the fan.
Cold cups of tea, only one sip taken, sit on every surface.
Reminders bleep at ten minute intervals on my phone.
‘Brush teeth!’ ‘Wash hair!’
I press the ‘Postpone’ option over and over, ever optimistic.
Little shiny stars twinkle at me from strategic places: the fridge, the mirror, the fridge.
I wish I could remember what they are supposed to be reminding me to do.

My head is strewn with half-finished thoughts;
that come back to me during night-time feeds.
My husband groans at the scratching of my pen at 3am.
‘I’m sorry’ I whisper ‘I just need to write down a thought.’
If I don’t I am afraid I will lose it forever.

My bra is permanently unclipped, my baby almost permanently latched on.
My toddler always wants to help.

My brain needs sleep. My body needs exercise (and a shower now and then wouldn’t go amiss, I’m sure my husband would agree). Oh yes, my husband!
My husband needs? My husband needs? What does he need?
It’s been so long since I asked him. We must talk abou… oh where is he anyway, damn it?

No doubt delaying the inevitable homecoming to the chaos; the hormones; the exhaustion; the unbelievable mess of my motherland.

They call it child-led.

9 comments:

Nel said...

I love this poem - can really relate to it! So good to know you're not alone!!

Reluctant Memsahib said...

Wonderful. Mothers everywhere will empathize. It gets easier. Though
I'm not sure that once you're a mum your head is ever full of anything BUT half-finshed thoughts. And of course the exercise thing is omnipresent regardless of the age of your children ...

Pig in the Kitchen said...

Reluctant Memsahib is right, I nodded at almost every line. I'm very impressed by the phone thing, although can see the futility of it! And the permanently unclipped bra...it sounds so sexy, it so isn't! Thanks for emailing me, adding you to my blogroll pronto!
Pigx

Gayle said...

Hi Georgie

It's all so true ...I had to reply straight away or otherwise it would have remained on my very badly organised to do list for the next three weeks. I have to admit I've been wondering how everyone else with two seems to manage so efficeiently - it's good to know you experiencing the same things as me. You made me laugh re bras and breast pads.. I currently have two (clean - well done me) socks stuffed down my bra as I keep forgetting to buy new breast pads!! I'll read your blog with great interest...

Izzy said...

Love the poem. Such clear images in my head and sooo familiar!

Magdalen Thomson said...

'Great poem - sure many can relate to it even in the mild climate of GB!
DEpiste the angst it is so clearly causing however, baby-led has got to be
better doesn't it, than mother led - especially when the mother in question
is so severely sleep deprived and exhausted! Depsite whatever you might be
thinking, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, as it will reap rewards...eventually!!!

Tone said...

Your poem is amazing. You grasp the moment, it was like being right in the middle of breastfeeding again. I love it, the chaos and the beauty of being a new mother. And the balance between the serious and humour...it works. Thank you for a beautiful flashback

SaRAW said...

Beautiful! I just found your blog, and I'm sad to find that it looks like you aren't writing anymore. I'm also what some would call a "natural parent." Thanks for what you DID write, though!

http://www.natural-parenting.net

Georgie said...

Hello! Still writing :-) And just checked out your blog which looks great! xxx